Saturday, October 10, 2015

The first time you hear "I have cancer" come from the mouth of a friend


There are times when you can plan and prepare as best as possible, but things don't go the way you set out for them to. You run into set back after set back. You modify your plan and keep moving forward, but are unable to get back on track. You begin to realize that the day you planned for, just isn't going to be your day. Not this time. Then you realize that maybe the journey you were on, was never really meant for just you. 

On September 18th we got a text from a friend that was supposed to run the Chicago Marathon with us. It read "Hi Chicago friends. I am very sad to have to let you all know that I will not be able to run Chicago with you guys. I have been diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma and am not sure what the weeks ahead will hold for me..." I was at happy hour when I received this text. HAPPY HOUR. My heart sank, my eyes welled up with tears. I looked down at the floor and composed myself before joining back into the small talk at the table.

I have been lucky, blessed some will say, to have joined Team In Training (TNT), an endurance training group that raises funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS) for blood cancer research, in 2007 and to NOT have a personal connection to cancer. I've raised over $25,000 through my events with Team In Training (thank you to everyone who has donated!). I am a founding Board member of the Honored Hero Run, which has donated over $118,000 to LLS in our seven years. I've met people over the last eight and a half years that have gone through, or are going through treatment. I have friends that are cancer survivors. I have cried beside my teammates as we listen to stories from our Honored Heroes. But I have never, NEVER, had to hear the words "I have cancer" come straight from the mouth of a friend. 

I joined TNT three months after moving to Texas. I had three goals when I joined. To meet new people, run a marathon and do something good. I always felt a little out of place at TNT. I never had a personal connection. I never wished for one. I was fine feeling out of place. I knew I was doing something good, helping someone's parent, sibling or friend. I was perfectly ok with that. I joined Team Rooster this year, to help a friend raise $100,000 in memory of her father. I didn't know her father. I didn't know her before TNT. It wasn't a personal connection. It was a way to feel some kind of connection to TNT. It was a way to help someone ELSE out who had to go through the experience of fighting cancer with someone they loved.

The Chicago Marathon will not be race for me. It is not a battle I have prepared well for. Not due to lack of trying, just due to those unforeseen bumps in the road. I was hesitant to sign up. Peer pressure got the best of me again. But I've come to the realization that maybe it wasn't supposed to be a comeback race for me. Maybe it was supposed to be an opportunity to spend time with friends and celebrate our good friend who will face battles much more challenging than any race any of us have run before.

One of TNT's slogans is "saving lives one mile at a time". Every step, every mile of our Chicago 2015 journey, is for you my friend.